New Title

I've been considering to change my blog's title into something more.. well you know. Something better than "Trash Bin". I want something simple but cute and impressive, hehe. Something represents my self and my writings. I'm considering some, but still not really sure. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated anyway, hehe. :)

Maaf

Dalam hidup ini, setiap harinya kita selalu dipertemukan dengan berbagai macam orang. Ada yang baik, ada yang jahat, ada yang nyenengin, ada yang ngeselin, ada yang suka bagi-bagi duit, ada yang pelit, ada yang sombong, ada yang kasar, juga ada yang menyakitkan hati. Mungkin kita juga merupakan salah satunya atau mungkin kombinasinya.

Sering sekali kita merasa disakiti. Akhir-akhir ini saya merasa hidup saya... berantakan. Entah apa ada kata lain yang lebih tepat yang bisa mewakili perasaan dan keadaan saya belakangan ini. Lagipula, kecuali pernah merasakan hal yang serupa, nggak akan pernah ada manusia yang bisa benar-benar mengerti bagaimana keadaan saya.

Merasa marah dan tersakiti mungkin bukan hanya saya yang sering mengalaminya. Malah saya yakin, semua orang pernah merasakan hal tersebut.

Waktu SMA dulu, ada seorang guru, saya lupa namanya, yang pernah bilang bahwa kunci hidup bahagia itu 'maklum'. Kalau orang menyakiti kita, mencurangi kita, atau menjahati kita, dengan memaklumi, hidup kita akan terasa lebih mudah. Kalau ada orang yang berkata-kata kasar pada kita, cobalah untuk memakluminya. Maybe he just had a bad day? Saya menulis ini bukan karena saya setuju. Tidak, tidak sepenuhnya. Buat saya 'maaf' terasa lebih tepat. Maaf bisa mewakili banyak hal. Memaafkan berarti bisa memaklumi kekhilafan orang lain. Bahkan menurut saya maaf juga mewakili ikhlas. Mengikhlaskan hal buruk yang menimpa kita. Mengikhlaskan hal buruk yang mungkin orang lain lakukan pada kita.

Saya dulu menganggap diri saya orang yang mudah memaafkan. Saya hanya perlu beberapa jam untuk bisa menyunggingkan senyum lagi pada orang yang menyakiti hati saya. Tapi sepertinya saya salah. Meski bisa tersenyum lagi, ternyata saya masih menyimpan memori sakit hati dengan baik di otak saya. Dan itu sangat bertentangan dengan hakikat 'maaf' itu sendiri.

Mengutip kata-kata Ustadz Wijayanto dalam sebuah talkshow yang saya tonton hari ini, untuk memaafkan orang lain, ada dua hal yang perlu diingat dan ada dua hal yang perlu dilupakan. Kita perlu mengingat kebaikan orang lain dan keburukan diri sendiri. Buat saya itu mudah. Merasa tersakiti oleh seseorang nggak membuat saya melupakan kebaikan-kebaikannya pada saya. Tetapi ini bukan yang tersulit dari memaafkan. Yang paling sulit bagi saya adalah dua hal berikutnya; keburukan orang lain dan kebaikan diri sendiri. Dua hal ini adalah dua hal yang paling tidak bisa saya lupakan. Padahal dua hal yang perlu dilupakan inilah yang menjadi kunci penting dalam memaafkan seseorang.

Hari ini saya sadar betapa sulitnya memberi maaf pada seseorang. Tetapi saya tak mampu menolak mudahnya dan ringannya hidup setelah memaafkan.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi

PS: Selamat hari raya Idul Fitri bagi yang merayakannya. Mari kita belajar untuk saling memaafkan. :)

Tragedy

There's no point of swearing and cursing
But that is all I can do to get over this pain.
To see your dreadful attitude,
to hear your wicked words,
to bear and to endure,
to withstand every hurtful word you say,
I have tried to stand up and speak
all the words that would make point to you,
did it ever make one?
You cheated on life.
I wanted to help, but you are hopeless.
This is a tragedy of our life.
And I am wanting to give up on you,
And not permitted,
and all I do is swearing and cursing.

GOD's Blessing

This 5th Semester is kinda the hardest ever. My under-3-GPA. I got D for Complex Analysis and T for my favorite subject, Linear Algebra (whose re-evaluation's maximum score is C). Sigh.
I was talking to my mom about my dissatisfaction, and mom said "It may be because you were cruel and were a wicked person, Dear.". DANG! There I became speechless. That was MY MOM talking about my self. Mom knows best, right?
I didn't cry but my heart did.
That was a hit, Mom. But yes, you were right.
I might study hard but eventually still got D. Why? Because in the end we need God's blessing, guys.

Simply, just like the parents to their children, so does God to us.
Waktu kita kecil, kalau kita nggak nakal dan jadi anak yang baik, they get whatever we want, right?
Kayak mitos kertas SPMB yang ketumpahan kopi petugas scannernya. Semuanya tergantung restu Tuhan. Sepinter apapun kita kalau Tuhan mau, bisa aja kertas ujian kita ketumpahan kopi itu. Dan mungkin karena satu orang pinter yg gak beruntung itu, satu orang biasa yang baik hatinya bisa masuk perguruan tinggi yang dia mau.

I really really really want to be a good person. No, not because that kind of fortune that comes to the good ones. But because I fear, I'm afraid God will hate me.
Thus, in order to get a better personality, I got rules of mine.

1. Talk less.
I usually become annoying when I talk too much, saya jadi orang yang sok tau.
2. Read more & write more.
I need to let inspiration come into my brain. It helps me to act wisely. So I have to read just anything. I also find that I get a better perspective when I write. And more than that it feels so good to share and inspire people with my writings. (I know there's even no one read this blog, but just let me talk as if there's someone reads, hehe :) )
3. Have proper sleep
I don't know if it's related or not, but I feel good whenever I wake up from a proper sleep. :p So let me set 10 PM as my sleep time. :D
4. Be more thankful. :)
5. And also SMIILLLE! :D

Dan untuk menata kembali what had been messed, I also made a resolution, my personal goals in 2011. Yes, it's January 17th, and it may be toooo laaattteee to make one, but I made it anyway.

1. Focused on muy study. Got a nice GPA.
2. Still give contribution to the organizations but keep my self not to got into it too much. (I'm considering not to be on badan pengurus/executive board.)
3. Get less distracted.
Boyfriend, friends, korean dramas, internet, etc.
4. Have proper plan and preparation in every little thing, include the lectures.
5. Have a traineeship/apprenticeship.
6. Get A for Complex Analysis in Semester Pendek.
7. Save more money. Pretty much money at the end of the year.
8. Eat less junk foods. Eat more vegetables, fruits, and vitamins.
9. And sure 45-kilograms-body-shape :D
10. Finish my dream script. :)
11. (I leave it to be filled next)

"Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become."
-Jim Rohn

Let's be a good person and a good child for GOD. Let HIM love you. And feel the blessing. <3

Hello 2011! :)

It's my first hello on 2011!
How are you? How was the NYE? Delightful, no?
Well it's maybe too late to share mine, but I just want to share, hehe. :)

I used to celebrate every NYE with my family from mother's side. We went out the town, blow the paper trumpet, family worship, late night dinner, and surely enjoy the fireworks up in the very new year sky. This year i spent it way simpler. It's my first time staying home at NYE. My father got things to do at his office, my teen-little-brother went out with his friends, and so it left me and my mother, and I thought I would be able to get my first experience celebrating NYE with my friends. But then mom told me not to leave her alone. So what could I say? I stayed at home. I was thinking that it would be the homeliest NYE I'd have. There were nothing special to do on my NYE, but him, my boyfriend, hehe. Fortunately, he came to my house. He's the brightest evening star, shine even much better than the fireworks.

It's my first time spending NYE with someone, it's the night when I realize that God loves me very much, and I thank God for the best gift He gave on 2010. Yohanes Satrio Wicaksono. :)
So, I can't wait to live the 2011 life, feel the experience, and get His bigger givings. I love you, God. Please do love me too and my family and all the beloved person.
MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011! :)